Rainbows and Angels

83 days without him.

I'm beginning to travel again.  Traveling to places he loved.  Places he always wanted to go.

The guilt has lessened as I purposefully take a moment to picture his face in my mind and silently ask him if he is pleased with my new path.  And, to thank him for taking such good care of me, affording me the ability to live this life.

I spent a week in North Carolina with my Daughter, Son-in-Love and two glorious granddaughters (6 and 3/12).  

Randy's last visit was over 2 years ago and he was on cloud 9 with his girls.  Thankfully we were able to FaceTime during the final 24 months of his life.  Because of this, his girls knew him.. remember him.

In the final moments of Randy's passing, we were experiencing a rainstorm.  As he released his last breath, the rain subsided and the most extraordinary double rainbow appeared over our home.  His message that he was ok.  (FYI...the day we wed it was raining and as we arrived at the church, the rain cleared and gave us a rainbow.  It's kind of our thing).

We captured the rainbow in photos and sent it to my daughter, as we had no time to get her back to California to be with him.  As she broke the news of Papa's passing to her children, she was able to show them "his" rainbow.

Annabelle, our oldest granddaughter, with her innocent wisdom, faith (and a heavenly nudge from Papa, I have no doubt), was able to ease her Mama's pain by exclaiming "don't be sad Mama, that is Papa telling us he's safe with Jesus".

This amazing little girl had no way of knowing the significance rainbows held for us yet, she understood completely.

Children are miraculous!

Since that day, each time the girls see a rainbow, they become filled with excitement that Papa is visiting them from Heaven, making sure everyone within earshot is aware.

During my visit, as has become the norm, the girls and I sit and go through the photos in my phone.  As we scrolled upon Papa's double rainbow pic, my heart was filled with love to have these two little perfect humans on my lap as they gleefully told me Papa was here!

I smiled and knew Randy was indeed pleased.

Next stop, Alaska.  This was one of our bucket-list trips and it is somewhat bittersweet to be taking it without him.

I will admit,  I am eagerly anticipating receiving affirmation that he is with me.  That he is pleased.

Loss is an interesting thing.  So difficult to travel.  So frightening to let go.  Fearing it will somehow erase their existence.

Yet so beautiful to be reminded they are with us.  In every moment, every triumph, every single rainbow.

Life is full of rainbows and angels, you just have to look.

Cheers💜












Comments

  1. AnonymousJuly 6, 2023 at 5:42 PM

    Out of the mouths of babes
    Melissa, thank you for sharing your journey….the good, the bad and the ugly
    So pleased to hear you’re traveling and catching up. You took loving care of Randy and I have no doubt he’s smiling down on you. He was a very fortunate man to have you by his side 🙏🏻💜🙏🏻
    🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻

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