Fear
I have been dreading this stage. Seeing this gentle giant with fear in his eyes….so very, very sad. He is on the cusp of becoming non-verbal and his mind is in a constant state of confusion. He remembers his mother is gone yet, has begun asking to go to Grandpa’s. Do I tell him Grandpa has passed or divert and spare him the loss? I am still the “nice lady” (at least he still like me) when he forgets who I am. His Dad fluctuates between Dad and his buddy Terry. My mother however, is always Laurie (correct). The things his mind can and cannot remember is fascinating, in a weird way. Regardless of who we happen to be to him in the moment, he clings to us. He isn’t quite sure but some small part of him still understands he belongs with us. He doesn’t know this is home anymore. He tells me he is leaving now or that he is ready to go now, several times per day. Each time, as I explain that he is home, that this is the home he worked so hard to provide for us, his expression tells