Loving and Living Alzheimer’s

I blog about all he is suffering.  All we are enduring at the hands of this awful disease.  What we have lost and what he will never get to do.  I blog because I want the journey to be documented.  To help others on this path know they are not alone.  To answer questions for those who genuinely want to know how Randy is doing but are reluctant to ask, out of respect. What I haven't done is document who he was.  His story.  What he was before he became a patient. He was kind.  He was sweet.  He was silly and passionate and brave. He was popular in high school, with a smile that could kill and beautiful blonde tresses.  Played football, swam a little and loved life. There was a period where he was a victim of his own poor decisions and self pity... until he wasn't.  At his lowest point, he decided to save himself.   He joined the program, followed the steps and found God.  He rebuilt relationships and reclaimed his life.  He helped others and gave selflessly. He and his father en

So many new changes in such a short period.  (Lord, I think I’ve written that statement more times than I can count) He is fearful quite often now.  Afraid of being alone.  Afraid of returning home after an outing.  Fearful of “trouble” that he can’t explain.   Seeing him frightened is soul crushing.   Fortunately, calming him is still fairly simple, with soothing tones, hand holding and reassurance that he is safe. The routine exchange being my confirmation that I will always take care of him and never leave him.  His response of relief.  Does his brain genuinely believe that he will be left all alone?   Just the thought of him carrying the weight of believing that this is a possibility, sucks the air out of my chest. Along with this, he is recognizing less and less, how his loved ones fit in his world.  He knows we are his people but just how that relates, escapes him. He sees his Dad twice weekly.  This last visit, he asked Pop (Dad) if he would take him to see his Dad.  While I’m c