Loving and Living Alzheimer’s

So many changes.  He seems to be spiraling downward at an alarming pace.   I’m fascinated and in dis-belief, in unison.  My mind can’t accept that this is possible.  How can a person be completely different in the span of a week?  Yes, I ask myself this question frequently but my awe is unending. He can no longer do anything by himself.  God Bless him, as he tries to be helpful.  He relies wholly and completely on me. I am filled with sorrow for the man he used to be.  For the man he is becoming.  The man he feared becoming. He does not know my name or my association to him.  A deeper level of lost, getting worse each day.  I have become the nice lady he belongs with. He is largely non verbal.  He spends most of the day silent.  When he does try to communicate, it is in vain.  Nothing he says makes sense.  Thankfully, he no longer becomes angry when he struggles. He has swapped that anger for his own sorrow. He now, for no apparent reason, becomes sad and scared.  I think I hate this t

It finally happened  As of late , he can’t tell me my name, when asked.   If I ask him if my name is Melissa, he tells me “she’s not here”. When I tell him I’m Melissa, he responds with “cool”. Weirdly, if someone else refers to me by name, he knows who they are speaking of. I’ve begun asking him how we are related.  He just shrugs and smiles.   Am I your Mother? “No, I don’t have one”. (True, Mom passed from this horrible disease in 2001) Am I your Wife?  “No, she’s not here”. We are married.  “That’s awesome!” He has even gone so far as to throw his arm around my shoulder and tell me what a good sister I am.  (He has no sisters) And again, if someone else asks about his Wife, he knows it’s me. This disease fascinates me.. when it’s not destroying everything we had, little by little. Over the weekend, Randy stayed with his Dad and Stepmom. When I arrived to pick him up, he was napping.  So as not to startle him, I softly sat beside him and rubbed his arm.  He opened is eyes and with a