Loving and Living Alzheimer’s

I am struggling with my anger toward God.  What possible plan could He have for him?  For me?  There cannot possibly be a Divine reason for this. Realizing that I may never understand makes it even worse. Home with him full time now.  Pushed through his Palliative Care assessment.  As of today, he is officially on Hospice. Granted help with general hygiene and nursing services 5 days per week.  Supplies being delivered.  End of life meds, although a tad premature, provided. Trying to digest my shock and relief.  We are here.  I'm scared and angry.  Sad and praying for Godspeed.  (Ironic, I know). In spite of being in the midst of this new hell, Randy is exhibiting a new emotional behavior... Joy. The joy of music. We've all heard how therapeutic music can be but to witness the effect on my gentle giant is astonishing. We are in the bowels (literally) of the part of this disease that most fear more than anything else yet, he sings. Car rides around town, radio on... he smiles an

 Calls for Palliative Care assessments have been made.  Applications for IHSS have been filed. Documents and files are being compiled. Randy has opened the door to stage 7.  The final stages of his journey. It's astonishing it's only been 5 short (and long) years to this place.   However, he is the happiest I've seen him in years. I'm struggling (once again) with this transition, fretting and willing myself to handle situations I could never have fathomed. All while he is in a wonderful place in his mind. What an interesting place for God to bestow a Blessing. Randy is giggly and all smiles.  Playful and ever the prankster.  He is interactive and silly. Softening the blow of the now daily occurrences of his failing mind and body. He joins in on our sarcastic banter, although gibberish in speech , but we know he's lucid in the moment.  Whatever comment he is trying to make, it's clear he is spot on. Laughing with him is the best. He'll gesture inappropriately