Farewell

4AM on the eve of the day we will put Randy to rest next to his Mother.

I am still in shock that we are here.
That he is gone from our lives.  
From this world.

It is so wrong.

In the span of 6 days, we went from believing we had 12 months, to a couple of weeks, to a few hours.

Did we say goodbye enough?  Did he feel the love that surrounded him as he left this world?

I pray his Mother's face was the first beautiful sight he saw as he entered those pearly gates.

While these things plague my mind, I am grateful that his passing was peaceful.

Randy never felt pain or physical illness.  He was happy and playful in the days leading up to his final journey home.

He was spared what would have been the most excruciating part of this disease, only spending 6 days of his beautiful life in a hospital bed.

He was a truly amazing man.  Kind and loving.  No one who ever met him didn't fall in love with his zest for life and that exuberant smile.

I am better for knowing and loving him.  Better for getting to share the last 19 years of his life with him.

I know I will take all that I learned from loving him.. being loved by him...with me as I begin the next chapter of my life.

And I know I will love more deeply, live far more loudly and choose differently, because of him.

 What an amazing legacy to leave behind.
Farewell my sweet...

Cheers💜


Comments

  1. AnonymousApril 6, 2023 at 8:06 AM

    My heart is breaking for you Melissa. Randy was a great man and one of the nicest man I’ve met. You both were so blessed to have had 19 years together. Sending my prayers and love to you both. 🙏🙏❤️❤️. RIP Randy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 6, 2023 at 9:04 AM

    RIP You will be truly missed 🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousApril 6, 2023 at 9:39 AM

    L❤️VE

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mara CohnApril 6, 2023 at 11:57 AM

    Melissa your words through this journey of love with Randy have so inspired me. I have learned so much about, love, loyalty and the kindness that some people are able to give others. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world. You are an amazing person and I wish you ❤️ , peace and joy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousApril 6, 2023 at 7:36 PM

    This! Thankful in this life to know you both. Randy was amazing and so are you. He will forever be with you 💗. Hugs friend.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousApril 6, 2023 at 7:37 PM

    Yes what a legacy!! And what a beautiful, bittersweet journey you allowed us to be with you on. I will be praying for you and your family tomorrow. Fly high Randy RIP 💕

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousApril 23, 2023 at 9:34 AM

    Melissa, how blessed Randy was to have such an amazing lady in his life. There is no doubt he felt loved. You are an inspiration to so many of us.
    Bless you Melissa 🙏🏻
    Thank you for sharing your and Randy’s journey
    Fly high sweet Randy 🕊️
    🙏🏻💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🙏🏻

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blooming

4 months and 12 days... Blogging doesn't come easy.  I have plenty to share but struggle to find the relevance to Him... his journey.  How, in such a short period of time has my world become not connected to the "us" that once was? I suppose the answer is healing.  Continuing to live and move on to the next chapter.  The chapter that will be mine to explore, nurture and develop. It is the natural way of things.  We love, we lose and we move on. One day, that twinge of guilt will subside.  We are not designed to remain in a state of sorrow and despair after tragedy strikes.  We are meant to live.  To learn from it. I've read of people in my position who simply cannot work fully through the loss, by no fault of their own. Who never find love again.  Who are so changed by their Alzheimer's journey that while they continue to live, they do so as a party of one. No judgement here.  Rebuilding after such tremendous loss is scary.  It's hard.  It can be sad.  But ...
Read more

Rainbows and Angels

83 days without him. I'm beginning to travel again.  Traveling to places he loved.  Places he always wanted to go. The guilt has lessened as I purposefully take a moment to picture his face in my mind and silently ask him if he is pleased with my new path.  And, to thank him for taking such good care of me, affording me the ability to live this life. I spent a week in North Carolina with my Daughter, Son-in-Love and two glorious granddaughters (6 and 3/12).   Randy's last visit was over 2 years ago and he was on cloud 9 with his girls.  Thankfully we were able to FaceTime during the final 24 months of his life.  Because of this, his girls knew him.. remember him. In the final moments of Randy's passing, we were experiencing a rainstorm.  As he released his last breath, the rain subsided and the most extraordinary double rainbow appeared over our home.  His message that he was ok.  (FYI...the day we wed it was raining and as we arrived at the church, the rain cleared and gav
Read more

“Who Are You?”

It finally happened  As of late , he can’t tell me my name, when asked.   If I ask him if my name is Melissa, he tells me “she’s not here”. When I tell him I’m Melissa, he responds with “cool”. Weirdly, if someone else refers to me by name, he knows who they are speaking of. I’ve begun asking him how we are related.  He just shrugs and smiles.   Am I your Mother? “No, I don’t have one”. (True, Mom passed from this horrible disease in 2001) Am I your Wife?  “No, she’s not here”. We are married.  “That’s awesome!” He has even gone so far as to throw his arm around my shoulder and tell me what a good sister I am.  (He has no sisters) And again, if someone else asks about his Wife, he knows it’s me. This disease fascinates me.. when it’s not destroying everything we had, little by little. Over the weekend, Randy stayed with his Dad and Stepmom. When I arrived to pick him up, he was napping.  So as not to startle him, I softly sat beside him and rubbed his arm.  He opened is eyes and with a
Read more