Silver Linings

While my blogs seem to be getting farther and farther apart, my thoughts about this one have been in the forefront of my mind for sometime now.

I write about our journey in order to purge my innermost thoughts.  It’s a form of therapy for me.  I also hope to provide knowledge to those traveling this road.  Maybe even provide some comfort to know they are not alone or going crazy, as the role of caregiver makes you doubt your own sanity.

I also write to document Randy’s journey.  He lived, he loved and he was robbed of so much however, he was very verbal about wanting his illness to somehow aid in ending this horrible disease.  Knowledge is power.  

As of late, the responses I get from my/our story, are those of  great distress and sadness.  Tears have fallen and hearts have broken.  Family, friends and strangers alike, have been touched by these written words.  

It is oddly comforting to know my words touch others so deeply.  A sort of validation that what I am feeling is real.  That what he is enduring is ugly and painful and unfair and oh, so tragic.

For those who follow us, or new readers who simply stumble upon us, this one is inspired by and for you.

We still have joy and happiness.  They are tucked in between the ugly moments but, we have them.  His life is not a tragedy, just tragically shortened, with a less than savory finale.

Randy still smiles from ear to ear to see faces he hasn’t seen in awhile.  It may take a moment of prompting but, once recognition sets in, he lights up.

He still tries to be the prankster, pulling a fast one and giggling that infectious laugh of his.  (If you know him, you know!) Trying to hide and startle Pop.  Patting Bryan on the behind.  Telling X “that’s MY woman”!

He still occasionally steals ALL the pillows if I get up in the night, me returning to a bare side of the bed.  Snickering as I fight to claim just one.

He is still grateful for all that is done for him, as he knows he is limited.  His thank you’s flow freely.

He still gets excited about our Starbucks runs and thinks he is stealthy when sneaking an ice cream out of the freezer…. Once or three times a day.

He is still calmed by a simple touch, hand hold or hug.

So, stay with us as we navigate the time we have left.  Mourn with us, the parts of him that we’ve lost but, smile with us as we find those happy, silly little moments along the way.

And most importantly, in your own lives, don’t ever stop searching for those silver linings…. They are hiding everywhere!

Cheers💜