I Can

 So many changes in our little piece of the world.

I am working from home now.  Our youngest moved home a few months ago and Randy’s cousin departed a little over 2 weeks ago.

Being home 24-7 is surprisingly enjoyable and the Mr is so much happier.  Almost zero episodes of angry hostility.  No attempts at escape.  He’s polite and asks permission to do anything.

In spite of the peace and calm, I have found I am struggling to blog.  I’ve attempted on several occasions and the words don’t come.  My thoughts are jumbled.  What is my message?  What do I want to share?  Who am I helping?  Am I helping?

Things are better than they have been in quite some time.  But, they are not.  Therein lies the dilemma.  I suspect as caregivers, this is a common crossroad.  

We have peace.  He is happy.  He is passive and easy to please.  He’s obedient.  He’s a child.  My child.

He can’t put his feet into his shorts, or his shoes for that matter.  But, I can guide him into any attire.

He can’t put toothpaste on his own toothbrush.  But, I can add just the right amount.

He can’t eat a meal without choking.  But, I can remind him to chew slowly.

He can’t turn on the tv.  But, I can find his favorite show.

He can’t put the garbage in the black can.  But, I can show him which one is green and which one is blue, thus leading him to the black one.

He can’t function after 2 hours of any interaction or activity.  But I can put him to bed for a nap.

I can’t fix him.  I can’t teach him.  I can’t give him back all of the things he’s lost.

But….

For all of the things he can’t.  I am helping.  Helping him.

Because I can…

Cheers 💜


Comments

  1. I love that you are able to write about his progress and down falls. You are a very strong and loving young woman and you’re special care giving is just beautiful. I love you both so much and you should always know Melissa - I always will. Love you ❤️❤️.

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  2. ❤️😘😘😘

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  3. Such a journey you are all taking. I watch vicariously and read your thoughts but cannot feel what you feel. I love you and wish you peace and comfort, that is all I can do.

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  4. I feel you have a book in you!! Please know you are appreciated for sharing your journey. It can be truly lonely to travel this road called “dementia”. Someone that has not dealt with this can’t understand how truly overwhelming each day can be.
    Bless your heart 💜

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