Time

What a great time I had.  I have just returned from a wonderful weekend of wine and laughter.  Made so many new friends.  It was perfect!

And, most likely, my last.  

I was a bit torn…torn between feeling guilty and nervous about leaving Randy yet feeling so much excitement about having a carefree weekend.

Fleeting time…After 4 years, we are finally entering the stages I have feared the most.

In the span of one week, Randy has lost the ability to do anything without assistance.  ANYTHING.

Coherent sentences are 100% gone.  He has begun seeing people who aren’t there, which scares him.  He forgets he has eaten and eats again.  Or…swears he has eaten when he has not.  

He has to be told to do most things that should be automatic.  To shower.  To brush his teeth. To dress. To put his pajamas on.  

Home is his safe haven.  Boredom consumes him but outings are almost too much.  No matter how badly he wants to get out, he is ready to return home within minutes.

How could this happen so quickly?  Seemingly, overnight.

Time is slipping away.

His decline has caused him to regress to a mental age where what he wants most is his Dad.  This is both heartwarming and heartbreaking.  

Oddly, while we are running out of time, that is the one gift we can give him.

Time… our time.

Any length of time, large or small.  

The memories we are creating now are so much less for him…and entirely for us.  

Time is a thief and a gift.

Time well spent, visiting, telling stories, being silly.  These small things keep him smiling and content.  These small things carry value beyond measure.

Time… spend yours wisely 

Cheers💜











Comments

  1. KimMarch 30, 2022 at 8:09 AM

    💜

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nancy C.March 30, 2022 at 9:02 PM

    I love your sharing. I gladly share in your journey to support & share your loss of dear, dear Randy. He is a kind & loving man. I will, as long as I have memory (as you know, none of us can be sure) keep him in my heart with great love. You, Melissa, have given him the happiest days of his adult life. My concern now is for you. You have many friends & great support but I am available anytime to listen & hold you anytime. I sincerely doubt that I could have held it together as you have. I admire the wonderful friends that supported you both throughout. God has Randy in his care & peace will be his in time. Why you & he have had to endure this trial I have no idea but I am sure the place Jesus has prepared for you in Heaven will be heavenly. Love you both.

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