Respite

Every week, I get 1 or 2 nights to myself, as Randy goes to stay with his Dad.   Free nights after work to have drinks with friends, do laundry, go to bed early, whatever my heart desires.  Honestly, watching whatever I want on tv, possibly eating ice cream for dinner (in case you missed my previous blog mentions… I’m a little “fluffy”) and sleeping in the very center of our bed is truly the best part.

Pop and YaYa (Randy’s parents) were on vacay for the last 2 weeks so, last night was the first night our weekly schedule resumed.  Randy missed his Dad like crazy and was so happy to see him he was almost in tears.

I got his bag all packed, gave him his AM meds and kissed him goodbye yesterday morning as I left for work.  I did not speak to him again all day.

Bring on the guilt… ugh!  He was fine.  He is fine.  I know this with every fiber of my being.  I may or may not be a control freak when it comes to his care.  

Dilemma… to call or not to call.  Any Alz caregiver will tell you that one simple phone call can dramatically alter the course of events. (Did I just have a parenting deja vu ?). If he hears my voice will he want to come home?  Will he get angry?? Am I being selfish???

Ok, ok, I know the answer.  I did not call.  Still felt guilty.  It’s my cycle.  I also miss him.  See??  I’m a mess.

I did, however, call today during my lunch.                                              

Him - “am I coming home?” , “when do you get me?”            

Me - “you can come home any time you’d like”                ***it just feels wrong to tell him he can’t.                    

Pop in the background - “Randy, we are going to the movies later”.                                                                                         Randy - “oh yeah, the movies.  See you tomorrow”

Nice save Pop, nice save…

Cheers!

Comments

  1. Myfriend32August 18, 2021 at 11:22 AM

    You are such a wonderful person, I can not imagine what you are going through. You and Randy are always in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete

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